Archive for divorce

One Year Later: Life is a Sandwich

Posted in Family, God, thoughts with tags , , , , on May 1, 2010 by Tim R Wilson

As the new month begins I’ve become more aware of the passing of time and the passing of years.

It’s been a good time to think about the blessings of the past year since my heart attack a year ago yesterday and identify hopes and goals for the future. School … Kids growing and becoming …. I would recommend you do that.

But that’s not all that happens, is it?

(By the way, those of you who have had no pain or disappointment in your life can skip to the end now. Thanks.)

We also realize that it’s one more year since that loss, or one more year of dealing with some pain or hurt. We say to ourselves, “Wow, it’s been 3 years, (or 5, or 20) and it still hurts! How can that be? I didn’t know it would last this long.”

What if it still hurts? Is that okay? What about the hurt that is going on and growing now?

I used to believe that life was a series of events and experiences and each one has its own time and emotions, then you move on to the next, kind of like flipping through a picture book. But I believe now that life happens in interwoven experiences and emotions, layers stacked on top of one another. It’s more like a sandwich you bite into. All of those experiences add to the taste and texture. Yes, sometimes I do wish that we could just have one at a time, preferably just the sweet ones. Never cared all that much for the dill pickles …. But hey, I’m blessed by saving anything in this life at all …

We grieve over someone dying at the same time we learn of a new birth. A friend lands their dream job while our neighbor’s company closes. A friend tells you that she just met the man of her dreams while you are aching inside from the message you just got from your wife saying that your marriage is over. (Today is seperation day.) Your child says you are the best parent in the world while your other child is in total rebellion.

All of these layers happen. They are all there. They are all real. They all move us. We remember them. We become them.

This coming year will come with all of its own texture. Allow your life to have the texture it needs this year. Know that the layers are all there. You get to have all of them. You have to have all of them. That’s the deal. The only life you get is the real one.

It’s okay if the hurt is still there somewhere. But, it’s not the only layer, is it? God made life very thick. He must know what he was doing …


Divorcee: Forget the kids, I want my kidney back

Posted in odds and ends with tags , , , on January 10, 2009 by Tim R Wilson
This could very well be the strangest article I’ve come across yet …

Divorcee: Forget the kids, I want my kidney back

Broken hearts are a staple feature of many divorces, but one US man has added a novel twist to his settlement by demanding that his estranged wife undergoes surgery to give him back his kidney.

In 2001, Richard Batista showed his dedication to his other half by stepping forward when doctors said she was in dire need of a new kidney. The doting husband beat odds of 1-in-700,000 to be a viable match.

But he claims that his wife-of-19-years repaid the heart-warming gesture by shacking up with her physical surgeon – a charge both of them deny – and says he now wants the organ returned to his body.

“This is my last resort,” Batista said. “I didn’t want to be in the public eye.” Despite the animosity, Batista insisted he would donate the kidney all over again to his hopefully soon-to-be-ex. He fondly recalls a visit to her room on the day after surgery.

“There was no greater feeling on this planet,” he said. “As God is my witness, I felt as if I could put my arm around Jesus Christ. I was walking on a cloud.”

I don’t think I would take the kidney back… the whole situation is just weird.